motherhood is like a trip to ikea in so many ways. it’s mostly tedious and exhausting and you can never find anything. two thirds of the way through you don’t think you have the stamina to carry on and wish you’d never started in the first place. it always takes twice as long and costs twice as much as you expected. and the best way to survive it is to fill up on meatballs

i spend an inordinate amount of time feeding my family.

it was a toss of the coin between this and this. while i like the flow of the second one, it’s a little too orderly. i love that the doidy cup is the only thing vertical in my final choice, the vertiginous feeling sums up the chaos of our mealtimes much better. i’m enjoying shooting b/w.

there are times when i just have to walk away.

shot in colour and photoshopped w/channel mixer. this is mostly blue with a little green, and darkened to match my mood. i liked the colour balance on the green but preferred the grain on the blue. i’m going to shoot some 1600 b/w for a while to get a feel for it as i want to try some in the rollei and i’d like to get a head start on the learning curve.

we’ll go for a long walk this afternoon, it’s sunny today, it’ll be fine

having kids is teaching me to let go of the need for things to be just so, the urge to always be in control. it’s not my strongest point but there are times when i can just step back and see what happens, no right or wrong, helping without guiding. and guess what? it turns out that sometimes more is more.

two fingers up to logical number sequences! lol, i thought i posted this already. i was given two beautiful orchids as new baby presents. the person who handed one to me with a stern entreaty that i would look after it wouldn’t i shall remain nameless…

it’s a privilege, a renewal, to share in M’s childhood. it’s so much fun. the simple joys of cheap plastic disguises, advent calendars, eating raw biscuit dough and keeping pet hailstones in the freezer

it’s swiftly becoming apparent that - especially at this time of the year - any time to myself during daylight hours is a rare pleasure. i’m going to find it hard to be happy with the aesthetic side of my pictures, so i guess i’ll have to concentrate on trying to tell the story.

so much hangs on how well the girls sleep. at times they take it in turns to wake throughout the night. the soupy fog of prolonged sleep deprivation has to be experienced to be believed. last night G had a new sleeping bag and she slept 8 1/2 hours straight, which hasn’t happened for a long time. i love the magic sleeping bag.

nothing gets done around here unless it has to get done, and even then it has to join the end of a long list. bed making doesn’t feature on the list. this was taken in the early light, i never imagined before how busy it’s possible to be before 8am. the focus is slightly fuzzy, as am i at this time of the morning.

the first of the new batch, the first day of my new challenge - describing motherhood. (although not much change in my style or choice of subject matter, i see).

one of the purely pleasurable aspects of having a new baby is the chance to dig out all my old slings. unsurprisingly i value them almost as much as textiles as baby carriers.

i don’t exactly crave when i’m pregnant but i really miss the things i’m not supposed to eat. the pate was well worth waiting for.

(i missed a day)

rock a bye baby on the tree top… such a small piece of metal to keep safe something i hold so dear.

the best bit of childbirth (not counting the bit at the very end).

catching up on pictures i took but never posted 6 months ago.

i remember this being a horrible grey day with much too much walking.

i’m definitely going to try to pick up my 365 project, taking a picture every day. the discipline was really useful and it moved my photography forward even in the short time i managed it before G was born (i think i got to day 35). it’s very likely that i won’t post every day, but i’ll try to take the picture at least. which reminds me, i must post up the missing pics i took but never blogged.

and i’m going to up the ante. producing pictures that i find aesthetically pleasing is one thing, but actually trying to convey something, to tell a story, is something else entirely. it’s something i’ve never tried and there’s every chance i’ll be rubbish at it but there’s only one way to find out. so over the next month (from next thursday, G’s half birthday) i’m going to have a go at describing what motherhood means to me in pictures.

i’m still here, still taking pictures (although i did miss one day ) but i’m also kinda busy

this pic was taken when she was about 12 hours old. now, a week later, she has a name at least - G (if anyone’s itching to know drop me a mail and i’ll let you in on the secret!). that’s it for the moment, i’ll try to catch up on the pics and the posts over the next couple of weeks.

i received a parcel that took my breath away today.

a snoozy day all round.

was absolutely the best place to be today. rubbish picture, but i had some serious relaxing to be getting on with.