refuge

it's not so much quiet that i miss, it's being able to choose the sounds that surround me. as anyone with young children knows they don't have an internal monologue. everything is done out loud. which can be cute, and a rare insight into the often fantastically weird inner workings of another person's brain. but the constant commentary can get a bit wearing. that's nothing compared to the attrition of kids telly, i often can't stand to be in the same room when it's on. and then of course there's being cried or yelled at, which seems to be happening more than i feel is reasonable lately. and if it's my lucky day i get all 3 at once.

i literally can't think when i'm surrounded by all this noise, the constant aural haze of demands and recriminations. in the absence of an off switch sometimes i just have to block it all out. our place is so small you can't get away from each other and the general noises of family life, trying to pick out what you want to listen to from half a dozen different soundtracks is exhausting, but a long walk with a loud ipod can do the trick.

this is a terrible picture, nothing's in focus and there's cat fluff on the dial, but i like the shapes and (lack of) colour.